smiles and tribulation

if you can make a man feel comfortable talking to you about ANYTHING, he will more than likely fall in love with you.

men naturally keep their feelings bottled away. especially with how many girls get psychotic when their boyfriends share something that takes a lot of courage to say. if your man talks to you about difficult things, he respects you. he wants to share EVERYTHING of his with you. he understands what it means to sacrifice, to think about the future. if he can understand that talking about something difficult is more beneficial than hiding it, it means he cares to make it better, that he wants you to understand everything that he is, and have you be a part of it.

focus on trying to see things in his point of view, so that when he does share his feelings, you don’t take them personally. think about what it would feel like to share what he was sharing and then how you would want him to react if it was you, then do so. building openness makes you so close its scary.

how i relate?

i am currently dating someone, and from day one, i implemented that we needed to be open about everything. i am a girl who likes to hear the real instead of some sugar coated ear pleaser that isn’t true. tell me, it will hurt more if you hide it. so he understands and slowly i ask him about little things that might bother him. he slowly shares, and i am starting to figure out his ways. he feels comfortable talking to me because he sees that i truly try to see things in his point of view. eventually after a few times of us talking about things like what makes us jealous, and what we consider lying, he realizes that i am a listener. so he talks about everything now, and listens to everything. he has come to the understanding that talking is healthy. we talk about sex right after we have it. we talk about what felt good and what didn’t, and what better to do the next time. he is falling for me, he says he likes being so open because it allows him to share more of himself with me, and give him more of who he is, as well as really get to know who i am. the basis of all this trust we are building is laying out such a strong foundation.

he wrote me a letter today. he sent me a box of step by steps of how to fold a paper crane. he came over and we kissed and ate cookies and milk at midnight. we talked about the news, our days, and how much we likes each other.

“love isn’t complicated, people are complicated” - unknown

“The only obsession everyone wants: ‘Love’. People think that in falling in love they make themselves whole? the platonic union of souls? I think otherwise. I think your whole before you begin. And the love fractures you. You’re whole and then your cracked open.”

sometimes i feel as if it didn’t hurt, it would be easy. but if it didn’t hurt, it would be boring.

“I like flaws and feel more comfortable around people who have them. I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.”

“We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real-but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”

It’s what no one knows about you that allows you to know yourself.”

“I will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.”

the only reason it hurts now is because it felt good before it didn’t.

focusing on what it would feel like if all your dreams came true really feels good because most of the time, it can happen if you tried.